Mass Effect 2

[Stormi]

Super geiles Spiel, anderes kann man nicht sagen. Ich hätte mir aber

a) etwas mehr Interaktion und Input von den Crewmitgliedern in den Missionen gewünscht

und

b) längeres, fesselnderes schlussvideo

Aber ansonsten ist der Wechsel von ME1 zu ME2 mehr als genial vollzogen worden.

[Headhunter]

Jep, von den Gruppenmitgliedern hätte ich auch gerne mehr gehört, besonders so kleine Gespräche wie in den Fahrstühlen der Citadel in ME1...oder wie in DAO einfach ab und an ein Gespräch unter denen...

[Harbid]

Das hat meiner Meinung nach KotoR noch am besten gemacht; da gab es so zufällige kleine Dialog-Cutscenes mit den Gruppenmitgliedern wenn man unterwegs war.

[Majeh]

Boah was freu ich mich auf diesen DLC :D

Im Vergleich zum Mako wird das sicher ein riesen Spass werden!


http://www.gametrailers.com/video/exclu ... fect/62772

[Stormi]

Die Manövrieren kommt mir da etwas zu übertrieben vor, muss ich sagen.

[Baerschke]

Boah was freu ich mich auf diesen DLC :D

Im Vergleich zum Mako wird das sicher ein riesen Spass werden!

Was haben alle gegen den Mako? Mir hats Spass gemacht, damit über die Berge zu hüpfen.

Edit/Spoiler: Ich gehe mal davon aus, dass die Missionen des DLC auch nach der Endmission spielbar sind allerdings verstehe ich dann nicht ganz den ersten Gegener des Videos. Ich dachte die häretischen Geth wären ausgeschaltet?

[Stormi]

SPOILER:
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Ich dachte die häretischen Geth wären ausgeschaltet?

Nein, die Basis war ausgeschaltet. Legion sagt noch, dass es noch weitere gibt und diese sich durchaus wieder aufbauen könnten, wobei es viele Jahre dauern dürfte, um ähnliche Stärke zu erreichen. Zumindest, wenn man wählt die Basis hochzujagen.

[Baerschke]

SPOILER
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Ich hab mich aber für das Auto-Update entschieden.

[Stormi]

Dann keine Ahnung, sorry. Zweite Mal Durchspielen mit dieser Option mache ich erst später.

[Baerschke]

Naja, vielleicht funktioniert das Geth-Update genauso "gut" wie der Update/Downloadmanager von Dragon Age, dann ist es erklärbar.

[Harbid]

BioWare hat den ersten kostenpflichtigen Downloadinhalt für Mass Effect 2 angekündigt. Es handelt sich um die bereits lange spekulierte Kasumi, eine weibliche Diebin und das 12. Mitglied in der Guppe. Der DLC wird "Kasumi's Stolen Memory" heißen und voraussichtlich am 6. April für PC und Xbox 360 erscheinen. Über den genauen Preis ist noch nichts bekannt geworden.

Shepard trifft Kasumi auf der Citadel. Sie kann im laufenden Spiel oder am Ende der Hauptmission eingesammelt werden und hat natürlich auch wieder eine Loyalitätsmission. Enthalten sein werden auch neue Inhalte wie das "Locust" SMG, ein neues Achievement und die Spielzeit soll etwa 1 1/2 Stunden betragen.

[Baerschke]

Ich glaube, ich werd den zweiten Durchgang Mass Effect 2 doch nicht erst in den Semesterferien im Sommer machen :)

[Harbid]

Auf der Games Developers Conference gab Christina Norman ein Interview und berichtete über die aktuellen Ziele und Pläne im Hinblick auf Mass Effect 3.

So betont Norman, dass Mass Effect 2 unter dem Motto eines neuen, verfeinerten Gameplay's stand, der den Misstand des ersten Teils ausbügeln sollte, da er zwar wie ein Shooter aussah, sich aber nicht wie ein Shooter anfühlte. Das Ziel bei der Entwicklung des 2ten Teils lag darin, "zufrieden stellende Kämpfe" und ein neues "Gefühl der Intensität" mitzubringen. So musste der Kern der Spielmechanik überarbeiten werden, da die anderen Features auf Shooter-Kämpfen aufbauten. (Weitere Gründe für den geringen Rollenspielanteil des Spiel's gibt es auf krawall.de.)
Christina Norman betont weiter, dass aber gerade der hohe Action-Anteil des 2ten Teils zur Verwirrung der Fans geführt habe, und viele diesen als negativen Aspekt ansahen. Dies wolle man im kommenden letzten Teil ändern und den Schwerpunkt auf "reichhaltige RPG-Features" und mehr "Kampf-Optionen" ausbauen. So wird die Suche nach den Ressourcen zurückstecken müssen. Auch die Minispiele beschrieb Christina Norman als allgemein ungeliebtes Feature.

[Baerschke]

Ein kleines Videointerview mit den Machern:
http://g4tv.com/videos/44694/Secrets-of-Success-Mass-Effect-2/

[Baerschke]

Wer ihn noch nicht hat, man kann sich jetzt den Arc-Projector/Cerberus-Bogenprojektor runterladen.

http://www.masseffect.com/universe/arsenal/weapons/

Zeitnah gibts dann ja noch das neue Teammitglied.

[Majeh]

Angeblich ist nun ein Release Termin für Neue Klamotten und Firewalker DLC am 23. März bekannt gegeben worden. Wärend der Firewalker DLC für Cerberus Netzwerk Besitzer kostenlos sein wird, muss man für die neuen Klamotten etwa 2 Euro auf dem Tisch legen (letztere sind meiner Meinung nach überflüssige Dinge).

Es wird sogar spekuliert, das es nen Addon geben könnte wie etwa bei DA:OA. Ich hoffe das wird nun nicht zur gewohnheit, das könnte man nämlich auch falsch verstehen ;)

[Baerschke]

Was kann man an einem Addon falsch verstehen? Mich würds freuen, wenns mal wieder etwas Material gibt, dass mich länger an den Rechner fesselt. Solange dort nicht auch das kind irgendeines Opfers auftaucht, dass sich nach dem zweiten Gespräch schon wie ein Schoßhund verhält...

[Harbid]

Es wird sogar spekuliert, das es nen Addon geben könnte wie etwa bei DA:OA. Ich hoffe das wird nun nicht zur gewohnheit, das könnte man nämlich auch falsch verstehen ;)

Bei klassischen RPGs gehören Addons zum guten Ton; Baldur's Gate 1 & 2 hatten Addons, Neverwinternights 1 hatte 2 Addons und eine Reihe Premiummodule, NWN2 hatte auch 2 Addons etc. pp.
Für Dragon Age würde ich auf mindestens ein weiteres Addon wetten; bei Mass Effect rechne ich eher nicht damit; da wird man sich auf ME3 konzentrieren.

[Majeh]

Ich meine damit auch eher umfangreichere Sachen Harbid. Awakening war ok, obwohl etwas länger wäre schön gewesen. Ich möchte nur nicht das es zu einem melken der $-Kuh ausartet!

[Janom]

Firewalker Pack für PC erschienen, kann wie die anderen DLC's runtergeladen werden (http://social.bioware.com/user_entitlements.php).

Ausserdem läuft auf den DragonAge und MassEffect Seiten ein Countdown von ca 6 Tagen, da wird dann wohl etwas angekündigt :)

Update: Auch das kostenpflichtige Alternate Appearance Pack 1 (Garrus, Thane, Jack) ist erschienen, dafür werde ich aber kein Geld bezahlen.

Achja und am 6. April wird für 560 Bioware/Microsoft Punkte Kasumi als neuer Charakter erscheinen, dazu gibts hier ein Video.

[Baerschke]

Naja. Nach den ersten drei Missionen, davon zwei auf "Mustafar", bin ich froh, dass das Firewalker Pack kostenlos ist.
Als kleine Ablenkung für zwischendurch ist es ganz nett, aber den geliebten Mako ersetzt es nicht.

Ausserdem läuft auf den DragonAge und MassEffect Seiten ein Countdown von ca 6 Tagen, da wird dann wohl etwas angekündigt :)

Hoffentlich eine neue DLC Rüstung, ich hab ja erst vier. Oder ein Patch, damit das das Dragon Age Update richtig funktioniert und Awakening etwas bugfreier läuft? Oder, dass man bei Mass Effect 2 auch endlich die Chars hochladen kann? Letzteres wäre schön. Am meissten würd ich mich natürlich über ein Addon freuen. Bei meinem derzeitigen Glück gibts aber blos eine neue Facebook Umfrage in sechs Tagen ;)

[Harbid]

Ausserdem läuft auf den DragonAge und MassEffect Seiten ein Countdown von ca 6 Tagen, da wird dann wohl etwas angekündigt :)

Zu einem weiteren Statement konnte sich BioWare aber schon durchringen. Gegenüber Joystiq sagte man, dass es mehr mit der Community zu tun haben wird und keine Spielankündigung. Mehr können sie der Presse aber nicht verraten.

[Harbid]

Beim Countdown steht jetzt auch "Countdown to an Epic BioWare Community Event" dabei.

[Harbid]

Im Bioware-Forum hat ein User eine kleine Parodie-Zusammenfassung der Handlung von ME2 geschrieben:

Prologue

Sovereign’s plan has been foiled and all now recognize the apocalyptic threat facing the galaxy; but the Reapers still lurk in dark space, their unfathomable campaign of genocide delayed but undeterred. Shepard, savior of the Citadel and the Council’s finest agent, must now, with the help of his team of loyal friends, seek to understand the enemy and find a way to…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Harbinger]: zOMG SPACE BUGS!!1 LOL

*KABOOM*


Chapter 1: Project Lazarus Facility

[Miranda’s voice]: Wake up, Shepard! Killer robots are attacking this secure facility for no apparent reason. Please proceed immediately to the tutorial.

[Zombie Shepard]: Braaaiiiinss!

[Miranda’s voice]: Oh god, what have we done!

[Shepard]: Just kidding.

[Miranda’s voice]: Hurry, grab a weapon and thermal clip!

[Shepard]: (looks blankly at thermal clip) What the **** is this?

[Jacob]: You’ve been brought back at great cost as part of a classified project. I can tell you no more…I’m sworn to secrecy.

[Shepard]: Aw come on.

[Jacob]: Ok, fine, I’m with Cerberus. You may remember us as the terrorist organization that spent the last game conducting horrific experiments and trying to kill you.

[Shepard]: And I’m supposed to trust you?

[Jacob]: Well, we got better. Look, we have a cool logo now and team colors and everything.

[Shepard]: That seems like a good idea for a secret terrorist organization.

[Jacob]: We’re still working on a mascot. Maybe a husk or a little thresher maw like the one we used to murder those Alliance troops in the last game. Good times.

[Miranda]: Allow me to demonstrate how cold and ruthless I am by executing this traitor with my perfect, hot body that I will point out at every opportunity.

[Shepard]: Fortunately for the plot, all the blood has just left my brain.


Chapter 2: Cerberus Station

[Illusive Man]: Hello, Shepard. You spent the last game ruining my evil plans and killing dozens of my minions. I’ve decided to resurrect you so you can screw me over yet again.

[Shepard]: I hate you!

[Illusive Man]: 4 billion credits well spent.


Chapter 3: Freedom’s Progress

[Tali]: Shepard! You saved me! /images/forum/emoticons/love.png

[Shepard]: It’s good to see you Tali! Wow…so, um…wait, how old are you in Earth years now?

[Miranda]: I’m hotter!

[Tali]: My thread’s longer!

[Shepard]: Would it hurt my chances for a potential romance if I were to hand your traumatized friend over to Cerberus goons for interrogation?

[Tali]: Nah, it’s cool.

[Shepard]: Well, maybe I’ll see you around…

[Tali]: I hope so, but what are the chances I’ll need to be rescued again?


Interlude: Normandy

[Joker]: Look, commander! At last, the Normandy has been rebuilt! What an epic moment!

[Shepard]: Yeah, that’s something. It’s been…what? Almost half a day for me since the last one was arbitrarily destroyed?


Chapter 4: The Citadel

[Shepard]: So about those Reapers…

[Council]: Shepard, the man who personally saved our lives, and whose warnings proved to be 100% correct in the last game! Thank the gods you’ve returned! As the only one who has communed with the Prothean beacons and spoken directly to Sovereign, you may be our only hope of discovering a way to stop the Reapers, who showed up in person just 2 years ago to destroy our fleet and mate with our space station, and who could not possibly have been a product of the Geth. We’ll reinstate you as a Spectre immediately, of course, and start…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Council]: Ah yes, “Reapers”…

[Shepard]: If they give me another chance to kill you in the next game, I’m taking it.

[Reporter]: Commander Shepard! You’re alive! Can I get a statement?

[Shepard]: I’ve had enough of your lackadaisical permutations! *PUNCH*

Chapter 5: Recruitment (Mordin)

[Miranda]: Omega station. It is a wretched hive of scum and villainy totally unlike other wretched hives of scum and villainy you may have encountered previously.

[Shepard]: Gotcha. Let’s check out this seedy bar filled with eclectic and bizarre aliens.

[Aria]: I know why you’re here, Neo…

[Shepard]: Huh?

[Aria]: Never mind. Mordin’s that way.

…

[Shepard]: Damned thieves! What kind of scum would plunder the homes of innocent plague victims? (Hacks wall safe)

[Mordin]: I’ve built this clinic to atone for my past involvement in unethical scientific experiments.

[Shepard]: Hi, I represent an organization with a long history of unethical scientific experiments. Want to drop everything and follow me to near-certain death?

[Mordin]: Ok.

[Plague Victim]: Hooray, we’re saved! Now we can return to our home and rebuild our lives with the money we hid away in the safe!

[Shepard]: Uh…yeah, that’s great. Hey, I think I saw some Batarians back that way…

[Turian]: You humans are all racist.


Chapter 6: Recruitment (Garrus)

[Shepard]: Holy ****, it’s Garrus! You made the cut for the sequel, and you managed to hold off three heavily-armed mercenary companies with just a sniper rifle. What kind of mods are you packing? Heat sinks? High-explosive ammo? Oh, remember that one that used to melt people into puddles of green goo? God, that stuff was awesome! Listen, can I borrow some of your gear? Those Cerburus ***holes stole my inventory…

[Garrus]: Actually, Shepard, weapon mods were outlawed by the Accessibility Act of 2184.

[Shepard]: So what do you do now, then?

[Garrus]: Mostly I just run out of cover for no reason and die. I hope you brought lots of medi-gel.

[Shepard]: What the **** is medi-gel?

[Garrus]: Anyway, let’s get back to the ship. Man, my armor sure got ****** up in that battle, huh? Maybe we could replace it somehow, like in the old days. You know, before I go back into combat. Shepard?


Interlude: Normandy

…

…

…

…

[Shepard]: So, uh, what are we doing?

[Joker]: We’re stripping an inhabited planet of its entire supply of platinum.

[Shepard]: Oh.

…

…

…

…

[Shepard]: Man, the pace sure has improved without all of those RPG mechanics slowing us down.


Chapter 7: Recruitment (Jack)

[Jack]: My entire childhood was a waking nightmare of torture and manipulation at the hands of Cerberus.

[Shepard]: Hi, we’re with Cerberus. Want to join us?

[Jack]: Ok.


Chapter 8: Horizon

[Harbinger]: IM IN UR BASE STEALIN UR DOODS!!1

[Ashley]: Commander! You’re alive! I thought we’d lost you forever! I don’t care what the council says; you’re a hero, and you’ve saved my life more times than I can count. I believe in you, and I know you’d never betray us. After all, you just rescued me and thousands of colonists. So screw the Alliance! Let me come with you, and we’ll deal with Cerberus—whatever they’re up to—and the Reapers together, just like we…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Ashley]: You bastard! Why haven’t you called me??

[Shepard]: Er, well, I was dead, and…

[Ashley]: And you’re a Cerberus terrorist now!

[Shepard]: No, let…

[Ashley]: Go to hell, you traitor!

[Kaidan’s ghost]: Yeah, good thing you left me to die on Virmire, huh?

Chapter 9: Recruitment (Tali)

[Tali]: Shepard! You saved me! Again!
[Shepard]: Hi Tali. You should join me because you were my coolest crew member in the last game. Well, except for Wrex. Plus, I’m starting to think that Bioware might actually let me romance you this time instead of Ashley the Space N a z i.

[Tali]: Sure! I’m done foreshadowing the next game, anyway.

[Kal’Reegar]: Yeah, congratulations. That’s so sweet. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just go over here and bleed out...


Interlude: Tuchanka

[Wrex]: Shepard.

[Shepard]: Wrex.

[Tali]: Keelah. There they go again.

[Garrus]: Hey guys, I think I see an armor shop right over there…I mean, it won’t take that long…


Chapter 10: Recruitment (Grunt)

[Shepard]: What’s this?

[Miranda]: It looks like a pod containing an experimental Krogan super-soldier designed to be a violent killing machine.

[Shepard]: Oooh, let’s bring it on board and open it!

[Garrus]: This is a terrible idea, Shepard.

[Shepard]: Don’t worry, I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Remember how well those Krogan on Virmire turned out?

[Grunt]: Raaaaaaarrrrrrrr!

[Shepard]: Hi, you’ve never been outside of a pod or met an actual human before, and are currently crushing my throat. Want to join me?

[Grunt]: Ok.


Interlude: Ilium

[Shepard]: Liara!

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Shepard]: Forget it.


Chapter 11: Recruitment (Samara)

[Samara]: I’m a mystical warrior-monk who lives only to smite the unlawful.

[Shepard]: Hi, I represent a rogue terrorist organization known for its ruthless amorality. Want to swear allegiance to me?

[Samara]: Ok.


Chapter 12: Recruitment (Thane)

[Tali]: Look, Shepard! It’s him! From the cover!

[Miranda]: They put me on the cover, too. Probably because of my perfect, hot body…

[Tali]: They put me in Mass Effect 1.

[Thane]: I’m a brooding assassin-for-hire whose dangerous mission you just interfered with.

[Shepard]: Hi, you don’t know me, but I noticed you on the cover, and you have a cool coat, and Bioware really couldn’t think of any better reason why you should join me. So what do you say?

[Thane]: Ok.

[Shepard]: Miranda, do we have any room on board for a mysterious assassin of unknown motivations whom we have no reason to trust?

[Miranda]: Let’s put him down by the life support system.

[Shepard]: Perfect! He couldn’t possibly cause trouble in there.


Chapter 13: Recruitment (Zaeed)

[Shepard]: Where the hell did you come from?

[Zaeed]: Hi, you just downloaded me. I’m a huge ***hole.

[Shepard]: Whatever, just get on the damn ship. Miranda, do we have room on board for a violent, homicidal maniac who has no loyalty to us or our mission?

[Miranda]: Let’s put him down by the surveillance system that can spy on the entire ship.

[Shepard]: Perfect! He couldn’t possibly cause trouble in there.


Chapter 14: Collector Ship

[Joker]: Look, it’s the same collector vessel that destroyed our last ship and that has been trying to kill us, intact yet mysteriously abandoned for no apparent reason.

[Shepard]: We should show this to the Council immediately. This is exactly the sort of proof we we’ve been looking for!

[Miranda]: But the Illusive Man said we should go inside and explore…

[Shepard]: Get serious. This is the most obvious trap in the history of obvious traps. The only thing it’s missing is a big “X” with an anvil suspended over it. We’re getting the hell o…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Shepard]: Alright, we’re going in. The Illusive Man has been perfectly straight with us so far, and there’s no way he’d lie about this or try to manipulate us.

…

[Shepard]: Is anyone else alarmed by all of these waist-high walls that have been placed conspicuously in every room?

[Miranda]: Probably just decoration.

[Garrus]: You’ve never played Gears of War, have you.

[Shepard]: Hmmm…a control console, and three convenient walls that could potentially be used to fend off an attack from three sides. Well, let’s mess with it and see what happens.

[Harbinger]: LOL I PWNED U NOOB!

[Shepard]: It’s an ambush! Who could have anticipated such a devious trap?

[Garrus]: Oh look, we’re in combat again, and my armor is still filled with gaping holes. I see that the Commander, meanwhile, has somehow repainted his ensemble in tasteful, complementary shades of green. That’s lovely.

Chapter 15: Loyalty Missions

[Samara]: My daughter’s a serial killer!

[Jacob]: My dad’s a pervert!

[Miranda]: My dad’s a jerk, even though he gave me this perfect, sexy, hot body, and my genius intellect, and my expensive education, and my superhuman powers. Oh, and did I mention I’m rich, too, and…

[Tali]: My dad’s a jerk, too! And my thread’s still longer!

[Garrus]: My former squadmate’s a jerk!

[Mordin]: My grad student’s a jerk!

[Zaeed]: My business partner’s a jerk!

[Jack]: Cerberus are jerks!

[Thane]: I’m a jerk!

[Grunt]: Let’s go kill something!

[Shepard]: It’s pretty sad when the party member with the least dysfunctional past is the one that was grown in a pod.


Chapter 16: Derelict Reaper

[Shepard]: So let me get this straight… we’re going inside a Reaper? Like, an actual Reaper? The mysterious enemy that we’ve been trying to understand for the last game and a half? We’re suddenly, in the middle of the game, with no buildup, just going to walk around inside of one? A Reaper. Just saying.

[Tali]: This seems like it ought to be a more momentous occasion…

[Shepard]: This is amazing, though! Imagine the possibilities…what we could learn! This could be the key to understanding our enemy and finding his weaknesses. Forget the collector ship, this is all the proof we need. We need to contact the council immediately; this thing’s been here for millions of years, and I don’t think it’s going anywhere…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Shepard]: On second thought, let’s just go inside, kill some zombies, and blow up the core. Really, what else could we possibly do with this old thing?

[Tali]: Well, that was anticlimactic.

[Shepard]: Oooh, look! A Geth! I want to take him home with us. Miranda, do we have any room on board for a live Geth?

[Miranda]: Well, there’s that empty port observation room…nah, let’s put him in the AI core.

[EDI]: Words fail me.

[Shepard]: Perfect! He couldn’t possibly cause trouble in there.


Interlude (Normandy)

[Shepard]: Ok, we’ve just plugged a device made from Reaper technology into our ship. We really have no idea what this will do, so we’re on full alert until…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Shepard]: Road trip!


Interlude (Omega 4 Relay)

[Tali]: Shepard, I’m prepared to risk death to be with you. /images/forum/emoticons/love.png

[Shepard]: Woohoo! So, uh…will this room be safe enough?

[Tali]: Where else? Heh…down by the drive core or something, right next to Donnelly and Williams? Now that would be classy. Let me just get this mask off…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Tali]: Let me just turn around 180 degrees and get this mask off…

[ME2 Fanbase]: ****

[Zaeed]: Bloody hell! Only one camera angle!

[Garrus]: Hey Zaeed, what are you watch…is that? Wait, what’s that on the wall? He’s got an entire wardrobe of armor in his room?! Oh, you’ve got to be ******* kidding me!

Chapter 17: Suicide Mission

[Shepard]: Ok, this is it. First off, we’re going to need a tech expert. This will be a tough call. Let’s see…we could send the genius Quarian engineer, or the guy who’s an actual sentient machine. Or maybe Zaeed or Grunt…

[Miranda]: Oooh! Pick me! Pick me! There’s nothing I can’t do with my perfect, hot body.

[Tali, Legion]: …

[Shepard]: Alright, next up we’re going to need someone to lead the B-team.

[Miranda]: Oooh! Pick me! Pick me! My perfect, hot body makes me a natural leader.

[Shepard]: I think I’ll let Jacob handle this one. He’s just been hanging out in the armory doing nothing since Omega.

[Jacob]: It’s not my fault the other party members are all more interesting. Miranda wouldn’t get any attention either if she weren’t wearing that vacuum-sealed bodysuit.

[Miranda]: I can’t help that I’m so perfect!

[Shepard]: Ok, let’s move out.

…

[Shepard]: Hurry, Legion! Just slap some omni-gel on the door!

[Legion]: That product is no longer manufactured, Shepard-commander.

[Shepard]: Goddamn it…the future sucks!

[Garrus]: Gah! I’m hit!

[Tali]: Hang in there, Garrus!

[Shepard]: My god! Look at his armor…it’s full of holes! Why didn’t he say something sooner!?

[Garrus]: (cough) **** you.

[Shepard]: Ok, we’re going to need someone of unmatched, superior biotic power in this next part to protect us from killer bugs. Well, I’m thinking maybe I ought to choose one of the two people that we recruited specifically because of their unmatched, superior biotic power…

[Miranda]: Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!...

[Shepard]: Ok, ok…. you can do it. Christ.

…

[Garrus]: AAAAAHHHHH! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFFFF! OH GOD, THE PAIN…

[Miranda]: Oops.

[Shepard]: Wow, I haven’t seen a biotic display that impressive since that Volus crackhead back on Ilium.

Shepard Reloads.

[Miranda]: Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!...

[Shepard]: Back with the scrubs, Miranda.

…

[Shepard]: Prepare yourselves. Sovereign warned us that the nature of the Reapers is beyond our comprehension. Who knows what unimaginable, Lovecraftian abomination we’ll find at the heart of this evil place? Merely gazing upon its hideous, cyclopean horror could blast the sanity from our minds, leaving us gibbering wretches, shrieking helplessly in madness for…oh, look, a big skeleton. Well, that’s disappointing.

[Garrus]: So I don’t get it…why does it actually have to look like a human? Soylent Green was made from people too, but at least they didn’t cut it into little gingerbread men.

[Tali]: Awwww…he’s kind of cute. Look, he’s smiling! Hey widdle guy…!

[Shepard]: Don’t let him distract you. Look for his weak point!

[Weak Point]: Hey.

[Shepard]: Well, that’s convenient.

[Harbinger]: WTF HAX

[Illusive Man]: Hello Shepard . Now that I’ve spent the entire game deceiving and manipulating you, how about giving me this mysterious alien facility filled with dangerous Reaper technology to do with as I please? If you look into my glowing, demonic eyes I’m sure you’ll find only the noblest intentions.

[Shepard]: Yeah. While I’m at it, maybe I’ll go find Malak and hand over the Star Forge.

[Garrus]: Oh look, the final dungeon is exploding. There’s a novelty.

[Tali]: Jump, Shepard!

[Shepard]: Aaaah! Garrus! Pull me up!

[Garrus]: Can it wait a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations…

[Shepard]: You’re still pissed about that armor thing, aren’t you.


Epilogue

[Shepard]: Well, guys, I’m alive, the Normandy is ours, we’ve assembled a loyal and competent team, and the Collectors are not a threat to humanity; but the Reapers still lurk in dark space, biding their time until they strike at the galaxy.

[Garrus]: So in other words we’re in exactly the same place we were at the end of Mass Effect 1.

[Tali]: (sneeze) Well, not exactly…

[Borbarad]

Interlude (Normandy)

[Shepard]: Ok, we’ve just plugged a device made from Reaper technology into our ship. We really have no idea what this will do, so we’re on full alert until…

[Bioware]: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Shepard]: Road trip!

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